Ok peeps, school has officially ended!! and boy do i hear a resounding WoooHoooooo!!! Last thurs marked my last day at UWA after 3 whole years of university education. To all you homesick first year freshers at uni, believe me when i say the 3 years will fly by sooo fast, that you'll even wish it could be lil' longer. I recall how anxious and eager i was to graduate and to pack up & head back home during my very first semester here. Oh gosh, its all different now. For one, I am so dreading the packing bit. I have an insane amount of things to bring back.. mainly clothes. :( HOW! headache ah headache.

Anyhoos, in attempt to mark my final day at uni with a bang.. well sort of. i decided to head to the tav with andrew,alvin&marvin. okay, i don't mean to sound pathets but that was the 2nd time i've ever been to the famous school Tavern in my entire 3 years here. and to think i only found out where it was this year. Well apparently i heard the tav throws a huge major end of semester party on the final day of school, and its really jammed packed with people, booze and sausage sizzles(i'm guessing). But because we were there at 11a.m. in the morning, in between classes, it was absolutely quiet and boorrleeng.

School may be over, but the dreadful exams are still around the corner. shrudders.
okie dokey, time to head back to the books. its going to be a long and hard week of cramming everything into this lil' brain of mine. Mug on everyone!!!

I had a great conversation with a very dear friend of mine last night. She listened as I poured my heart out. My inner most feelings, fears, expectations all exposed after such a long time of aching within.

But you know what the amazing thing was?

God actually heard me too.

He saw my vulnerability and He spoke to me through a paragraph in a book i read just before i headed off to bed that night.

Letting our hearts be Deepened

....Our hearts are enlarged by Jesus. And by that, we mean that we must be willing to be honest with him and with ourselves about the true nature of our souls- our sorrows, our desires, our dreams, our fears, our deepest and scariest hopes. To invite Jesus to come and walk with us there, to remove from our hearts the things that are getting in the way of our loving. We do not always get what we want, but that doesnt mean we no longer want. It means we stay awake to the unmet longing and ache. Wait there. Invite Jesus to come and He will come. Not always to satisfy us by giving us what we want. But to come himself; to meet us with his very Person and to satisfy us with himself.

- Capitivating by John & Stasi Elderedge

there are so many questions i would like answers to. there are many things i wish i could say or do, but all Jesus is telling me is to be satisfied with Him alone. To know and be contented with His perfect and holy love first, and the rest will fall into place.

In Me.

1.5 months left and counting down. I'm starting to brace myself for the challenges that await for me back in singapore once again. there are thousands of questions spinning in my head right now that i wish God Himself, would come down in all His Glory and give me answers to each of them specifically. Ha! but its never always that easy huh. And so, I am clinging in faith for we serve an unchanging God who stands firm on His word. He will indeed Provide. :)

What will i tell everyone back home about my experiences here after 3 whole molding, cultivating and nurturing years? Who exactly do i want them to see?

an independent fresh grad all ready and determined to take on the world by its reins?

no seriously, i just want them to see... me.

if there is one thing i've truly learnt.. its definately not independence. Instead, i have grown to be so much more dependent on God over the past 3 years. Knowing that without Him, i am nothing on my own. That He is my everything, and He will never stop pursuing after my fragile feminine heart until i live a life that reflects His Everything. He will not stop this until i am utterly weak and vulnerable before Him.

You see, I was brought up by a strict military father who taught me that independence was the key to success. That I had to be strong enough to stand up for myself and showing a slightest sign of weakness was not an option. Unlike many other girls i know, I found it hard to cry. More so, i could never cry infront of my father. I found it hard to display ounces of fear, and could not face my own short comings. it felt as though i had this shielded up heart which in turn had a detrimental effect on the relationships i shared with people around me. although some of them don't say it, i know they feel it. Thinking back, it was so me to act all tough on the outside, as if nothing is wrong especially infront of the people i love because i was so afraid that they would love me less if they knew the real me.

For the past 3 years here in australia, i have certainly had my own fair share of ups and downs. just as much as i have smelt the sweet fragrances of joy and success, i have also tasted the sheer bitterness of disappointments and failing to meet the expectations i have set out for myself. Thats just life isn't? But in the reality of it all, one thing continues to stand firm... that God is real. And i mean real in all aspects of the word.

Isn't just amazing how God loves our vulnerability?

"Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me"

-'In Me' by Casting Crowns

Updates.

Another week has just passed in a flash before my very eyes! Time is really flying by at such supersonic speed!

it was my 22nd birthday last sunday. My friends tell me that these are the prime years of one's life and so we'd better enjoy it while it last. So yepp, i've decided to make the most of my life as a 20something yr old, grabbing hold onto any opportunites that come my way (esp ones that allow me to travel and see the world) before it goes downhill once i hit 30. Anyways, it was pretty much a quiet birthday this year. no fancy celebratory dinners or parties... just small meals with close friends. Here are random pictures taken during lunch with SuAnn on monday @ Wagamama, a fusion restaurant located in Subi.

On Friday, alvineugenecheekymarvin&myself courageously ventured to the remote hills of Perth just because we wanted to get a taste of the World's best gourmet pizzas we've heard so much about. Well for an hr's drive, which was quite like a mini road trip, it was worth it! the dessert pizzas are to dieee for.. of course with that i also mean you'll probably die of diabetes from an overdose. Being typical singaporeans, we ordered way more than what we could handle. the guys had this mentality that since we travelled all the way, we just had to order more, even if it meant stuffing ourselves silly! In the end we had to da-bao 3 small boxes of pizza back home. That was Kiasu-ism at its most.

Yes it has been yet another mad & exciting weekend! Alvin, myself, andrew & anthony with their 2 cute lil' brothers headed down to the Perth Royal Show on saturday. it was certainly a Hot Hot Hot day for fun and games at the claremont showgrounds. I shall let the pictures speak for themselves.

I was doing my QT today, and you know how sometimes certain paragraphs and verses just strike out so boldly before you that it feels as though God is talking to you directly... i got that today.

Our little "I am" always sulks and pouts when God says do. Let your little "I am" be shriveled up in God's wrath and indignation- "I AM WHO I AM... (exodus 3:14). He must dominate. Isn't it piercing to realise that God not only knows where we live, but also knows the gutters into which we crawl! He will hunt us down as fast as a flash of lightning.

-My Utmost for His Highest

So Lord, teach me. Mold me into the person you have pre destined me to be. I do not just want to exist, but i want to live. That I will live for you and only you alone. Remind me constantly to always uphold you in everything that i do.
That you may become greater, as i become less.
Amen.

Electric Dreams

Last friday, Cheeks, alvin & myself headed down to Mega Music to send our church's bass amp for repair all because anthony blew it with his killer kick-ass bass scales while playing for the last FNL worship. Haha. Anyway, we got to take a look around at all the SWeeet electric guitars hanging all over the place. I have never really taken an interest in learning to play the electric guit, but after looking at all the funky designs & the signatures of famous rockstars, before u even know it you're dreaming of being a famous rock star performing in front of millions of screaming and adoring fans. ahahaa..

Ohh, and another thing.

My final exam timetable is out! and i mean FINAL! *wipes sweat off forehead* the anxiety, the stress!! Woooooah. Anyway, my timetable is really really crappy this semester. You can see why...

8th Nov : ACCT 332 Auditing
1oth Nov : FINA 3307 Trading in Securities Markets
10th Nov : FINA 2202 Financial Statement Analysis
11th Nov : FINA 3326 Applied Financial Management

2 papers in one day!!! thats insane and everything is sooo packed together. Plus i only have about a month to get all the studying done so pleeeease keep me in prayer. All the praying power will be greatly appreciated. :)

Thanks guys.