I had a great conversation with a very dear friend of mine last night. She listened as I poured my heart out. My inner most feelings, fears, expectations all exposed after such a long time of aching within.

But you know what the amazing thing was?

God actually heard me too.

He saw my vulnerability and He spoke to me through a paragraph in a book i read just before i headed off to bed that night.

Letting our hearts be Deepened

....Our hearts are enlarged by Jesus. And by that, we mean that we must be willing to be honest with him and with ourselves about the true nature of our souls- our sorrows, our desires, our dreams, our fears, our deepest and scariest hopes. To invite Jesus to come and walk with us there, to remove from our hearts the things that are getting in the way of our loving. We do not always get what we want, but that doesnt mean we no longer want. It means we stay awake to the unmet longing and ache. Wait there. Invite Jesus to come and He will come. Not always to satisfy us by giving us what we want. But to come himself; to meet us with his very Person and to satisfy us with himself.

- Capitivating by John & Stasi Elderedge

there are so many questions i would like answers to. there are many things i wish i could say or do, but all Jesus is telling me is to be satisfied with Him alone. To know and be contented with His perfect and holy love first, and the rest will fall into place.