i just got back from 13.30's Retro Night held at church. for those who don't know, 13 30 is a ministry consisting of the youths as well as campus zones in my church, FCC. basically, every month we have a huge gathering, each with a different theme, where everyone just gets together in Praise & Worship, and of course in fellowship with one another. to be honest, i have never looked forward to such events ever since i got back this year. reason being, me feeling rather displaced ever since. maybe its just me feeling all 'attitude problem-ish' and hence, i am just never in the mood for socialising at such huge events. And so, the past few meetings, i've always been dragged to go, and each time i come back feeling more disappointed with myself for harbouring such negative feelings constantly. well, the thing was, i actually didn't plan to go for retro night, one reason was because i had tonnes of work to do, and the other.. yup you got it, because i just didnt feel lk it at all!! i just wanted to stay behind while everyone was out at church having fun, and eat my packet of instant mee for dinner. i just wanted to be left alone and feel sorry for myself. okay, but God didn't allow that to happen. after all the irritating yet loving nudgings from steph,cherie,mitch&cheeks, i reluctantly got dressed into whatever i could find was 'retro' enough. the ironic thing was, i was made to usher. To usher in people with a smile so they could feel welcomed and blessed just by coming to this event. inside, i didn't feel that way. but somehow, i managed to pull it off. how hard can it be right to smile? well.. for those who know me well enough, u would know its pretty easy for me. well, during worship, i told God to remove all the negative feelings i have been harbouring for so long so that i could just lift Him up in whatever that I do. so i could put a smile on my face and reflect His love and bountiful blessings at the same time. to praise Him in my worship, to lift Him up in every aspect of my life, with every being in me.Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out
- Hillsongs United
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