i give You my heart

Festivities.

Tis the season to be jolly. i should be feeling a warm tingling sensation of love and joy during my favourite holiday of the year, but instead all i am seeing is the colour blue. don't get me wrong, i enjoyed every bit of it with my family and friends over the christmas lunches and dinners. The thing is i've been clearing out my room, a room cluttered with tangible things attached with memories. Memories that have turned into hurt, dissappointment and disillusionment. I had a tough time trying to sort them out, deciding on where i should keep or part with them. But the hardest and most painful part is learning to let go of the emotions attached. though the photographs, letters, journals, etc.. are now stashed away on top of my wardrobe cupboard, there is still much hurt locked inside my heart. I thought i was stronger than this, i thought i was over it, but the truth is i am not... well not until all that has happened ever since i got back. I am still holding onto much more than i thought i was.

"Father lord, i look to You for comfort. Lord, mold my heart the way You want it. Teach me O lord to follow your plans for me, and that I will obey it with all my heart. Direct me in the path of your commands, and perserve my life according to your word. Amen"

p.s. and to a certain wonderful few... thank you. *you know who you are* Thank you for just being there when i needed you guys. for listening ever so patiently and lovingly. i would have felt 10 times worse if it weren't for u guys. :*)